Boyfriend

My boyfriend’s name is Ron. I bought him for seventy four thousand bucks to kiss me, pamper me, and fuck me. He lives in my house. I feed him. I clothe him. He lives for me and because of me.

He gets up early to make me breakfast. Bacon and a well done egg, just the way I like it. Toast. Coffee follows thereafter. The bittersweetness of coffee remained unchanged over the last three years.

This morning though,the coffee was plain bitter. The smell was more of a stench than an aroma.

Ron, is there sugar in my coffee?

He didn’t answer. He stood frozen, facing the sink, eyes unblinking.

I realized later on that the bacon was half cooked. The egg was more than well done and had too much salt. There must be something wrong with Ron, I decided. He might be in need of a little tweaking.

I went to our room and pulled out a box from the closet. A little book that meant everything to me and Ron and a smaller box made of plastic was all there is to find in that box. I went back to the kitchen and walked up to where Ron stood.

Dear, you’re cold.

I faced him and kissed his mouth. It was dry. Cold and dry. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. It was like licking ice. In subtle contrast to his coldness, warm drops of tears had started to fall across my cheeks. I started sobbing, shuddering.

Dear, we’d have to start all over again. Again. You are my boyfriend. You aren’t supposed to hurt me, dear. So why are you making me cry now?

I opened the small plastic box, took a screwdriver, and pushed the reset button on his nape.

I’m in love with you… not

I was merely infatuated. Haha.

I just remembered how hideous a penis looks like. Since you have one, I’ve decided not to like you anymore.

Reposting Shit from My MySpace Blog

I used to keep a blog in MySpace. Waaaaay back when I was in first year college. LOL. I’m reposting these entries here just so I could read them still. Most, if not all of it, had been written for an ex-boyfriend. Caution: Read at your own risk. Gooey content. Overly corny shit.

Umiiyak ako kanina. Nagaway na naman kasi kami ng kapatid ko. Nilaro kasi niya yung Final Fantasy XII. Ako lang ang may karapatang maglaro no’n sa bahay na to. Period. Epal talaga.

Tapos habang nagdadabog ako, naisip ko na naman siya. Siya. Siya na naman. Ewan ko ba. Bigla ko siyang naalala kasi dati, sa tuwing magaaway kami ng kapatid ko, itetext ko siya, tapos sa kanya ako magaangal nang magaangal. Ngayon, ayun, wala. Naisip ko lang, wala na pala akong nasasbihan ng ganon. Kanina ko lang napansin.

Ang gaga ko.

Iba parin pala siya kahit may best friend ako na babae at may best friend pa ako na lalake, iba parin siya. Siya. Siya. Siya.

Siya na nagluto para sa akin ng paborito kong bistek. Kumpleto pa sa sangkaterbang patatas dahil gustong gusto ko yun. Sa dami ng niluto niya, hindi ko naubos. Hindi namin naubos.

Siya na dahilan kung bakit hindi ko pinaigsian ang buhok ko all these years, kahapon lang ulit.

Siya na ginawan ko ng kanta. Kanta na ni minsan ay hindi niya nakuhang marinig. Kasi…

Siya na pinakawalan ko.

Siya na minahal ko.

Siya na mahal ko parin. Mahal ko hanggang ngayon kahit hindi na dapat. Mahal ko dahil sa lahat ng magagandang alaalang mayroon kami.

Siya na mahal ko.

Pero ayos na din siguro yung hindi kami naguusap. Para mawala na lang ‘to.

Siya lang ang nagluto para sakin ng bistek. At yun na ang pinakamasarap na bistek na nakain ko sa buong buhay ko. Pero wala na. Panis na eh. Kailangan nang itapon.

Paalam sa iyo, mahal ko.

 ***

I was surprised when I saw your name on my cellphone’s screen. You sent me an SMS. Wow. Not that it was new to me. I used to have a thousand of those in my phone. But now, only four are left. The last four I got from you last Saturday.

Well, you told me I need not explain anything. But I tried to. I just didn’t want to hurt you, that’s all. Of course, even if we no longer are together, I still care for you. I must admit that. But I love you no more. Well, at least, not as much as I used to. I love you now only as a friend. I myself couldn’t believe it, the moment I felt it. But yeah, I have been drained of the love I used to have for you.

Everything happened fast. I love someone else now. And, yeah, I am happy.Thank you for the memories. You have made me happy, you did. Thank you for wishing me all the happiness in the world. Thank you for the advanced birthday greeting. Thank you for congratulating me for finally finding a boyfriend who will always be with me when I need him. Thank you for everything you have made me realize. I’ve learned so much from our relationship. Really, thanks.

I’m sorry if I’m giving you a hard time, in some ways. I never meant any of these to happen. I never meant to hurt you. I hope I didn’t. But I did. I never thought it was possible. Honestly, I thought that I was not the girl who can break your heart.

If this is goodbye, goodbye.

That’s what I said, right? You take care now. One day, I know, you’d find yourself void of the sentiments you have towards me, since you would finally have no Kat in your life now. I have always been, after all, an absentee girlfriend. : )

***

 Karl told Irv, “Walang original content ang blog ni Kat. Puro reposts!”. LOL. Partly. :p

I Want to Party

I was at a company outing last Sunday. After the program, of course, there was a party and man did I enjoy it! I used to think “What the hell do people do on parties? It’s shit.”

Well, I don’t think that way anymore. To hell with how bad I dance or how alcohol makes me want to puke. I had a great time! Now feel like I want to do it some more. I got a kiss (On the head though. Meh.) from one of our bosses. He said, “Ang galing mo Katrina!” And then, smack! I don’t know where that came from though. LOL.

All work and no play makes Kat a dull girl.

Dig In

Shooting Star - Air Traffic

The Age of the Understatement - The Last Shadow Puppets

Cool Science - The Bumblebees

Acid Jazz Singer - The Fratellis

Run Rabit Run - The Hoosiers

Edit the Sad Parts - Modest Mouse

I Think I’m Paranoid - Garbage

Paranoid Android - Radiohead

One of the Boys - Katy Perry

Honeybear - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Breaking Standing - Forward, Russia!

Isolation - Snow Patrol

Lolita - Throw Me the Statue

***

I’m just trying to look cool. Haha.