Reposting Shit from My MySpace Blog

I used to keep a blog in MySpace. Waaaaay back when I was in first year college. LOL. I’m reposting these entries here just so I could read them still. Most, if not all of it, had been written for an ex-boyfriend. Caution: Read at your own risk. Gooey content. Overly corny shit.

Umiiyak ako kanina. Nagaway na naman kasi kami ng kapatid ko. Nilaro kasi niya yung Final Fantasy XII. Ako lang ang may karapatang maglaro no’n sa bahay na to. Period. Epal talaga.

Tapos habang nagdadabog ako, naisip ko na naman siya. Siya. Siya na naman. Ewan ko ba. Bigla ko siyang naalala kasi dati, sa tuwing magaaway kami ng kapatid ko, itetext ko siya, tapos sa kanya ako magaangal nang magaangal. Ngayon, ayun, wala. Naisip ko lang, wala na pala akong nasasbihan ng ganon. Kanina ko lang napansin.

Ang gaga ko.

Iba parin pala siya kahit may best friend ako na babae at may best friend pa ako na lalake, iba parin siya. Siya. Siya. Siya.

Siya na nagluto para sa akin ng paborito kong bistek. Kumpleto pa sa sangkaterbang patatas dahil gustong gusto ko yun. Sa dami ng niluto niya, hindi ko naubos. Hindi namin naubos.

Siya na dahilan kung bakit hindi ko pinaigsian ang buhok ko all these years, kahapon lang ulit.

Siya na ginawan ko ng kanta. Kanta na ni minsan ay hindi niya nakuhang marinig. Kasi…

Siya na pinakawalan ko.

Siya na minahal ko.

Siya na mahal ko parin. Mahal ko hanggang ngayon kahit hindi na dapat. Mahal ko dahil sa lahat ng magagandang alaalang mayroon kami.

Siya na mahal ko.

Pero ayos na din siguro yung hindi kami naguusap. Para mawala na lang ‘to.

Siya lang ang nagluto para sakin ng bistek. At yun na ang pinakamasarap na bistek na nakain ko sa buong buhay ko. Pero wala na. Panis na eh. Kailangan nang itapon.

Paalam sa iyo, mahal ko.

 ***

I was surprised when I saw your name on my cellphone’s screen. You sent me an SMS. Wow. Not that it was new to me. I used to have a thousand of those in my phone. But now, only four are left. The last four I got from you last Saturday.

Well, you told me I need not explain anything. But I tried to. I just didn’t want to hurt you, that’s all. Of course, even if we no longer are together, I still care for you. I must admit that. But I love you no more. Well, at least, not as much as I used to. I love you now only as a friend. I myself couldn’t believe it, the moment I felt it. But yeah, I have been drained of the love I used to have for you.

Everything happened fast. I love someone else now. And, yeah, I am happy.Thank you for the memories. You have made me happy, you did. Thank you for wishing me all the happiness in the world. Thank you for the advanced birthday greeting. Thank you for congratulating me for finally finding a boyfriend who will always be with me when I need him. Thank you for everything you have made me realize. I’ve learned so much from our relationship. Really, thanks.

I’m sorry if I’m giving you a hard time, in some ways. I never meant any of these to happen. I never meant to hurt you. I hope I didn’t. But I did. I never thought it was possible. Honestly, I thought that I was not the girl who can break your heart.

If this is goodbye, goodbye.

That’s what I said, right? You take care now. One day, I know, you’d find yourself void of the sentiments you have towards me, since you would finally have no Kat in your life now. I have always been, after all, an absentee girlfriend. : )

***

 Karl told Irv, “Walang original content ang blog ni Kat. Puro reposts!”. LOL. Partly. :p